My Raya Post.

So basically, my entry is a week late.

Raya is the time where I actually look forward to because of the food and family gatherings...and maybe those open houses that we just have to go.

This year was a bit different because I can't really feel it in my heart just yet. I was actually looking forward for the holiday I'm going to in the 4th day of Raya.

Even posting up a post is taking forever for me because my mind is still on holiday.

This is the time where everyone got to buy bloody expensive new baju Kurung/Kebaya/Melayu and got to showcase it to everyone. This year, my family somehow choose the colour white. I got mine at the very last minute, a day before raya and it's the most comfortable thing ever because it's huge, so I don't have to think about what I can or cannot eat later. and since I'm gonna where it the whole day, might as well pick the most comfortable one right? no jeweleries, no fancy styles, just plain of modern baju kurung kedah.....i think.. =P

I know this is the time where everyone would be salam-salaman and bermaaf-maafan and all, so right here.... I just wanna say....I forgive you all....HAHA!!!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin from my family and I!Cheers!
Shahila Johan

Done!

I'm sorry if there's any wrong spelling I might write later because as I'm writing, my eyes are filled with tears.

It's Official, after almost a year of being in a relationship, it has finally came to an end. well yes, that means my heart has officially been broken. It's so painful that I am grateful that I still have feelings after all those numb-ness in my brain.

In 2 days (7th Sept), it's actually gonna be our 1st year being together minus the friendship bond we had. But I guess I won't know how it feels to be together with him for a year although I really wish I could.

I don't blame anyone in this broken relationship because I think both of us plays a big part on why this didn't work out although partly I still blame him for not telling me the real reason he wants to end it.

I guess i can't do anything about it. Although he'll still remain in my heart, I have to learn how to let go. sigh~ that's tough!

Life is beautiful, let's get a move on shall we? =)

Love,
Shahila Johan

HANTU!

the other day, I went for a shoot and it's for a movie.
In the shoot, I was Kicked, Slapped, Punched, Stepped on, Hair pulled, Spat on, Cried, Eat outside the house on the sand, Yelled at, Pushed, Raped, Laughed at, Commit Suicide, Became a Ghost, Haunted people and Kills them.
I HAD A BLAST!!!

As you can see, these are the type of things that I wanted to do for a long time and finally got the chance to do it and I'm so proud of it. Of course it wasn't easy at first but slowly with the help of everybody around there I eased myself and just simply follow the instructions.

The director that's directing this movie is so open minded and willing to take the risk of hiring some non-experience actor like myself to act in his movie and I salute him for that.
You see, if it wasn't for him, I don't think I'll be doing all this or even get the chance to be in a movie because some casting agency said that my face is not the commercial type that can sell it to the audience. Well I hope I can somehow prove them wrong by doing this.

ou well........

Love,
Shahila Johan

Gloomy...

sometimes you act before you could ever think because you were so mad and then the next day you wish none of it ever happen. But then you realize that nothing you can do to change what you did.

I have to say that I did it sometimes. I do regretted it but I found out that everything does happened for a reason. i heard a quote that says " tomorrow's a mystery, yesterday's a history but today is a gift, that's why they call it present!". yes, i got that now.

i won't know what's gonna happen in the future. I guess we just have to find out one of these days.

Love, Shahila Johan

Indian wedding ke?

Yesterday i attended an Indian Wedding... You see, when I was invited, the 1st thing came in my mind was alot of coloured rice and flowers decorations, coconut water splashing, even a fire pit in the middle like the one we always see in the movies and photos. and that's the wedding that I expected for it was my 1st time attending a real Indian wedding.

When I got there with my friends, i was surprised! No colourful flowers anywhere in the big hall; there's tables with numbers and the food was served chinese-style-round-tabled; name was written in english with they're hindi style; no coconut anywhere for me to get my hands on; and (yes!you've got it) no fire pit in the middle.

It was a formal Modern wedding like every other chinese and some malay's weddings I've been to, but they did put in some really awesome bangra songs that I can't stop moving my head to.

so here's my question. Do people nowadays really forget about their cultural heritage? I mean, I know that's not what they intended but somehow does the western really brought a big impact to us Malaysian?
(blank) I got no answer to that.

If I were Indian or to marry an Indian, I would want all that cultural stuff because to me it's important to remind me where i come from and the legacy that I bring to my culture.

So, if any Indians out there who's getting married the more cultural way, please invite me so I can experience it myself. Please? =P

love, Shahila Johan

today's random playlist.

as some people may know, i'm a "Playlist" person. my world revolves around pure emotions that runs alot of my playlists which includes "reminice" and "dejavu"..... yes, it's random but i think playlist plays an important part of my life as it can sometimes help me overcome with my emotions.

1. Crazy love - UNC Clef Hanger's version with Anoop Desai as soloist
2. For good - from the musical "Wicked"
3. Stay the same - Joey McIntyre
4. My redeemer's lives - Nicole C. Mullen
5. Reaching out - Lea Salonga
6. On bended knees - Boyz II Men
7. Anytime - Brian McKnight
8. All in love is fair - Stevie Wonder
9. Fallin' - Lea Salonga's version
10. If only - from the musical "Disney's Little Mermaid"
11. Secret - One Republic
12. Battlefield - Jordin Sparks
13. live like we're dying - Lenka
14. Burn - Usher
15. If I in't got you - Alicia Keys
16. somewhere out there - Linda Rostadt and James Ingram
17. Gravity - Mia Palencia
18. True colours - Lea Salonga's version
19. Fix you - Coldplay
20. Runaway - The Corrs

this is the original playlist that I got for myself today in original order. my emotions can be change from time to times.

love, Shahila Johan

Apakah!

A: don't they know how to NOT disturb other people's belonging? sendiri punya tak reti nak jaga, kacau pulak....

B: Life....

A: sigh~