the long and winding road....

Life can be hard sometimes huh?but at the same time, its fun...to know that what we've been through eventually makes us think wiser. We can be trapped in a world of lies and games and rules that somehow, we think that we live in a virtual life or we can snap out of our dreams and deal with the reality that the world is offering. I like dreaming but at the same time, i like my dreams to become a reality. The more i think about it, i wonder if any of my dreams came to life yet or not..hmmmmm.....
I've always make myself busy with things so i could run away from the reality world but somehow i can't escape. sometimes i move to fast that i've forgotten my purpose in life. chasing my dreams to become reality, that's the main thing that i needed to do.
i think i did pretty good on slowly to fulfill my dreams. i've always love to perform infront of a crowd and i did!!!! and i think i might be addicted to it. Just to sing, dance or even act on stage with the lights shine on you is like.... you're in your own sweet world and at the same time making people relate to you. Going on tour and making people noticed you once in awhile is really fun! like, i have this one time, right after a performance, a little girl came to me and say "che che (kakak/sister) i like you". I couldn't ask for more. I love it... it's good to make a good impression to kids because they are the ones who gonna be us one day and we have to show them whats best for them.
Did i ever tell you that i cook? well, now you know. i can't say that i love cooking, but i think i can be good at it and when i cook, i love to see what they think of the food that i've made. i mean, i bake alot, so it's not like it's successful all the time but when it is, it's an awesome feeling!!!
on being alone, sometimes its better to be alone but not all the time... i mean, everyone need a partner in their life right, at a moment of their life, they wanna know the feeling of love and being love. i want that too! but i only want that when i can actually trust that person. i don't wanna rush things, i want it to be relax and cool, i want to feel the love that could add happiness to my life (and his of course) and not sadness or sorrows like most of the couples that we see now a days. i wanna love and be loved all over by the same person everyday of my life. to share everything and spend time just the two of us under the big blue sky on top of a hill somewhere or sit by the ocean while feeling the ocean's breeze. yea...maybe one of these days, when faith found someone.
friendship that last, not forever but last long enough to know who's your real friends and who are not. i have to say, i have lots of fantastic and awesome friends that have helped me through my ups and downs. we may have lost contact but somehow we manage to find a way to connect back with each other, and when they do, you just feel like you don't ever wanna let them go again. but eventually, you will, AGAIN!
anyways, what i'm trying to say is that, live your life to the max, if you wanna do something or try something new, i say "GO TRY IT!!!" you won't loose anything. just like the song from 'avenue Q', "everything in life, is only for now".......

cheers
shahila Johan
<3

the life....the new me!

well....i've been thinking...of all the things that i've condemned all through my life with tragedies and heart broken and stuff,i forgot about my happiness..what really make me happy...
i must admit that i've been depressed at some point but when i think about it again, i wonder, how long that time was that i wasted with all the misery when i clearly have the chance to make everything right again...
i mean, life comes only once,so why dont u enjoy it to its full entent...never be angry, bored or sad, because to me, 1 minute of ur anger, sadness or even boredness, u'll eventually loose ur 60 second of happiness. and by all that mean,come on, get up and have some fun, trash ur room, hug ur parents for God's sake, laugh ur head's off...do whatever it is as long as ur not having a negative thoughts anymore...because from what i've learned, 1 minute of a negative thought can be dragged for days and u may think that u suck..wait..i mean,ur days sucks...u may feel that u wanna kill somebody or just scream ur lungs out or something...but u dont have to do that when u can shift all ur negative thought into positive somehow... dont ask me how,u just do it....
well, i must say it has worked for me,in a way, i love my classes now, i'm making new friends everyday, lending in one of the most biggest production in September, touring around Malaysia in October, making a fund for the under-privilage and maybe heal the world one day at a time.....
i'm loving every bit of my life right now, and i think u should too...no matter how hard life can be, just think about all the happiness u can bring to other just by smiling...the power of smiling is so strong that it can make an enemy to a friend....a smile increases value of face, anger spoils the beauty of soul, faith is the force of life and confidence is the companion of success....so whatever u do again, keep smiling.
so, at the end of the day, i can only leave u with these...
God will never leave you empty, He will replace everything you've lost, if He ask you to put down something, it's only because He wants you to pick up something greater!
cheers
shahila~
<3