the break up song.

I've been running in your direction for too long now,
and I've lost my own reflection.
I just can't see how,
Why don't you catch me when I fall......anymore.

I know now if I play fire I get burned,
but it also can be warm.
You somehow promised that you will learn,
now I know all your emotions are just words.

I'm the flower in the smallest garden,
reaching for the light,
and you are the candle that's in the dark,
conquering my night.
Who's to blame,
If we can't hear our own voices......anymore.

things maybe different when we walk our path,
but I have to go.
we may struggle with our own task,
but I will take it slow.
when this is over,
there won't be no second chance.

If this is the moment,
that we will say goodbye.
If this is the moment,
i stand here all alone.
if this is the moment,
for the rest of my life.
If this is the moment,
that somehow leads me home.
I know you won't ever break my heart again.

the pain will ease if I can learn.
that the heart may freeze or it can burn.
I might crash buy I still believe.
Because from you, I won't be deceived.

So I'm letting you go and I'm turning around,
and I'm not gonna wait for you to come back now.

cheers
Shahila Johan

My Raya Post.

So basically, my entry is a week late.

Raya is the time where I actually look forward to because of the food and family gatherings...and maybe those open houses that we just have to go.

This year was a bit different because I can't really feel it in my heart just yet. I was actually looking forward for the holiday I'm going to in the 4th day of Raya.

Even posting up a post is taking forever for me because my mind is still on holiday.

This is the time where everyone got to buy bloody expensive new baju Kurung/Kebaya/Melayu and got to showcase it to everyone. This year, my family somehow choose the colour white. I got mine at the very last minute, a day before raya and it's the most comfortable thing ever because it's huge, so I don't have to think about what I can or cannot eat later. and since I'm gonna where it the whole day, might as well pick the most comfortable one right? no jeweleries, no fancy styles, just plain of modern baju kurung kedah.....i think.. =P

I know this is the time where everyone would be salam-salaman and bermaaf-maafan and all, so right here.... I just wanna say....I forgive you all....HAHA!!!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin from my family and I!Cheers!
Shahila Johan

Done!

I'm sorry if there's any wrong spelling I might write later because as I'm writing, my eyes are filled with tears.

It's Official, after almost a year of being in a relationship, it has finally came to an end. well yes, that means my heart has officially been broken. It's so painful that I am grateful that I still have feelings after all those numb-ness in my brain.

In 2 days (7th Sept), it's actually gonna be our 1st year being together minus the friendship bond we had. But I guess I won't know how it feels to be together with him for a year although I really wish I could.

I don't blame anyone in this broken relationship because I think both of us plays a big part on why this didn't work out although partly I still blame him for not telling me the real reason he wants to end it.

I guess i can't do anything about it. Although he'll still remain in my heart, I have to learn how to let go. sigh~ that's tough!

Life is beautiful, let's get a move on shall we? =)

Love,
Shahila Johan