LOVE.....

remember how your friends always ask you what is love and why do you need love? some would say that love sucks....love is everything or even better...love is clueless.... scientifically...i've learned that there's a nerve in your brain that'll active when you're in love...i think that's why you feel so 'madly' in love....

love can also be put in so many different ways...no...i don't mean your 'one and only' true love.....but the love for your family, friends, property, pets and everything that you simply adore.... of course, i'm a human being too.... i always write about love your family and friends and all but right now, i would love to write about my love life for once.... :)

to tell you the truth, these few months has been quite hectic for me that i'm committed with a few production which includes the one that's coming out this week. but at the same time, i have time to spend my time with my friends and from there i got to meet a few more new people that's gonna be part of my life as a friend forever. i don't know if there's such thing as love at first sight but somehow i think i'm feeling it abit and the 1st time i met him, i was indeed very shy (for once).... but we eventually got to know each other quite fast....i'm pleased about that.... :D well who doesn't right?if you like someone, you should atleast put abit of effort in so that the person notice you. so of course that's what i did and true enough he noticed me....noticed me well enough to hold my hand when we walk...i was over my head when he did that but of course i didn't show it.

but then, once we finally got to know each other abit more, i found out that he got a girlfriend that he can't break-up with just because she's a suicidal maniac that can't seem to let him go and would do anything to get him, and he's the type that would blame himself i anything happen to someone who hurt themsleves for him..... do you get i'm saying? so basicaly, i don't wanna be the one to be blame as 'the-one' that makes him break-up with his girlfriend, because i believe in Karma, what goes around comes around.... so if i'm the cause for them to break-up, i'm scared that he would do the same thing to me if he found someone who's so much better than me.

so basically, eventhough i have this strong feelings for him, i know i can't have him just because he can't and won't break-up and that i believe in karma. i know i'm not suppose to play with this thing called LOVE but i can't just ignore and play with this game of 'secret love' forever. i want my LOVE to be perfect, the LOVE that would add to my happiness and not complication and headache like i'm feeling now. just by thinking that, i've absorb negative energy in me.

to tell you the truth, i can't help myself thinking about him although i know it's wrong. i haven't have this feeling for quite some times and for once i thought that he would have been the one, but i guess i was wrong... and then again, life goes on.... the world never stop moving and so should i.....

whatever i'm writting is how i feel.......

If the sun went down tomorrow and it never came back
And the city went quiet and we fade to black
Well I won't have a single regret
And I wouldn't trade a thing
Cause I never knew I could feel what I feel inside of me

I knew all the time I was taking a chance
When I stand there on the edge of the cliff and no one was holding my hand
Well the wind blew strong and the clouds rolled in and I, I felt us lift off the ground
Yes I bared my soul and I dared to go knowing one day you might let me down

I gave you everything but to have said goodbye

Better to have loved than never loved at all
Better to have dreamed than never taken the fall
Better to have loved you and let you in than never to have touched your skin
Better to have hurt and screamed and cried
Fall into the earth for a trip to the sky
Better to have loved, better to have loved
You

cheers

Shahila Johan
<3