today, as soon as i woke up from my sleep, i had a devastating phone call from my step-mom saying that my dad was admitted in Klang hospital for dengue fever and that he's platelette is as really low... it's only 20..normal people like us, our platelette is the average of 120-200.. so to know that my dad, the only 'man-of-the-house', hero, 'strongest daddy in the world' and family supporter is sick, i break down and cry. i seriously cried my eyes out. not because that i'm having a bad feelings or anything, i just broke down and cried because the man that i know immortal is.....mortal after all...
my dad has always been the hero in my heart, i don't think anyone else can be the hero that he is to me because he's always there, not only for me, but for all of his daughters, no matter how bad the damage is, he's always there to help us pull through. he is the hero of my heart because, i don't think anyone can manage to raise 6 wonderful girls in one house right? he did it without a doubt is he is the man of steel! he raise us to be strong, firm and at the same time gentle to one another.
visited him for awhile during visiting hour, he looked so pale and weak, i makes me wanna cry, but i can't show it infront of him. i have to be strong. before i leave, we shook hands, and then for the 1st time ever, right after i kissed his hand and his cheek, he kissed my cheek back and i feel.... WOW! for the 1st time that i know....he's not the person that would do that but he did it...to me.... i cried....in the car..
:P
when i think about him being in the hospital alone, i just feel like crying again because i just don't like the fact that he's there at all... he's suppose to be the one that worries about he's daughters and do everything he can to cheer us up but now that he's there alone, it makes me scared, for him.... i imagine alot of possible things that might happen in the hospital while he's there but i try not to, i mean, i wanna be there to take care of him, i don't want the nurse to take care of him, that's my job!!!!NOT URS!!! :'(
well, right now, in the house, i have to fully take in charge of every situation because i'm the oldest since my eldest moved out 2 weeks ago and i'm responssible for any damaged caused by any one of my sisters or anything happen to my sisters. i hope i can do it, i know i can, i just need a little bit of guidence.
to papa, get well soon, i'll visit u everyday until u're back at home, i will do everything i can to help u out in the house while u rest at the hospital. i know i'm not a perfect daughter to u all this time and that i've never really care much about this family when i was a teenager, but i promise u, after what happened today, i will not let u down, everything i do that got ur blessings, i will do my best and make u proud. i promise i won't break down and cry after this, i shall be strong and face the challenges that's been thrown at me.
i love u so much papa, i've said this a million times but i'm gonna say it again and i'll never stop saying it with all my heart..... i LOVE u papa...
cheers
Shahila Johan
<3
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6 comments:
Get well soon Mr. Johan.
you'll be alright girl, be strong.
:)
You have all the support that u need adik. Banyakkan doa dan bersabar. Dan adik perlu kuat dan senyum selalu untuk papa mengharungi hari-harinya sepanjang beliau sakit, supaya beliau tidak risau atau gusar tentang anak-anaknya ;)
hope to hear your dad to get well very soon... i bet he's a strong dad. peace.
a stong person and a strong heart.. i bet u can guide your sister through.. just be more focused and remember when at any situation when ur angry,or anything, dont throw everything on your sister. be much more patient. Peace, god bless
thank u everyone!
i love u guys..each and every one of u in every single way!
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