trying to hide but can't...

have you ever had that feeling of insecurity? i mean, lets face it, i think everyone has atleast have a taste of that feeling and you feel so trap that you just wanna scream or cry or just be somewhere that no one can find you....atleast for a few days. well, i'm having that sort of feelings right now. insecurity is one thing, but lack of confidence just makes me loose hope. i just wanna run away, hide in one place where no one can find me, just to have a peace of mind... but then again, as im writting this, i know most of you who read my post will feel like slapping me or shake me up to make me snap out of it.... so...yea..im sorry im sorry that i gave a negative aura in this blog right now...ok...i shall snap myself..woah! :)

for the 1st time ever, i have to admit that i need my own inspiration, guidance and my own comfort... i know that i have all that through mostly by my family and by my friends, but at times, i wish i could be one myself.. i mean by having my own inspiration, that 'something' that can lift me up to a new beginning, the reason for me to stay awake and make a difference in my life or even inspire others to make a difference in their life. ou how i wish i could do that... but then again, i think i should just take one step at a time.

i noticed that life is about changing, not stick to one thing forever or all the time. but then again, once you found the perfect 'thing' that you're looking for, it's better that you cherish it and never let it go no matter how bad the situation it might be... although some other things might be better than what you have, you should not just let it go for something new, that something new might not be as perfect as you expected, and then you may want back you old thing but somehow it's not there for you anymore. this specific "thing" can be apply to everything you can think of. like your shoes, clothes, pets, relationships and even lifes.

we all have something to be regret of right? i do, i have some unpleasent things to be regret of and i hope that i won't that silly simple mistakes ever again.. life is about exploring what you can in this world, it doesn't have to be something stupid (like what they are doing in 'jackass the movie') or anything but to try something new.. so if you don't think you can dance, go ahead and make a fool of yourself, you'll never know if you're a better dancer that you think you are. some say "don't let other people judge you, let you judge yourself..".. well i say "come on, some things are mend to be judge by others... well.... atleast to give you a piece of mind on what your good at..." and what other way but to let your family (espeacially your parents) to judge you, they will give full support on what you are good at. there's where you'll find out what you're really good at, and then you stick to it.

i know i'm writting craps right now but then again, i have to get some stuff out of my head so i have to write something right?
so just stop thinking about all the stress that you're having and just let it go.... i think i'm feeling better now that it's all over (i hope it's forever). i just wanna think about what i'm about to do later and tomorrow and the day after day and next year and my future.i can't predict my future but right now if i start doing things positively, i think i might just have a better future ahead.

so to everyone else, i love you guys, never let one thing, one thought destroy your whole life and your future... you are so much better than you think you are.... trust me!
:)

cheers
Shahila Johan
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